Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Living Proof

I recently finished school, and since graduation I have been looking for a "better" job. After months of applying at dozens of offices, law firms (my degree is in paralegal studies), and the food service industry (my current profession), I am still gainfully employed at the same place. It seems that the Lord has something else for me where I'm currently at, or at least that is how I am taking it, as no other doors have opened.
    During this process I have completed all sorts of applications, personality tests, math tests (AHHHH!), and so on and so forth! They really make you work just to apply for a job these days! The last job that I applied for was at my church. This was by far the most challenging job application I have ever completed. For the most part it didn't differ too much from other applications: job experience, educational background, references, etc. Attached to this rather standard job application though was a ministry questionnaire. Since this is a church they wanted to know that I knew what I believed on major Biblical topics such as: Salvation, baptism, the trinity, the rapture, and more. Though this took me some time to scripturally write all down, I am sure of what I believe on these topics. What made this so difficult was the last question on this Ministry Questionnaire, " Spiritual Commitment Statement: Please provide us with a brief description of your personal conversion and spiritual walk with the Lord at this present time." I had never sat down and written my testimony before, in fact I had never even spoken it to someone before. It took me several days to write down a few paragraphs, and it was extremely hard for me. I don't often talk about certain periods of my life because I am ashamed of them, let alone write them down for a stranger to read. After writing it though, I had the need to share it with my mother. While reading it to her I could barely pronounce the words through my tears, it was such a good feeling to let all the feelings out. That night while trying to fall asleep I was thinking about that moment and the word "Testimony". The dictionary would define it as "evidence in support of a fact or statement; proof, or open declaration or profession, as of faith.", and that is just what my testimony says about me, it is part of the evidence that God loves me and will fight for me, and never abandon me! So with that being said, I felt it only appropriate to share my Testimony with all of you in hopes that you too will see that God LOVES you just as much as he loves me!!

    I am blessed to have been born into a great christian home, with a family that is driven to serve the Lord. At the age of 10 I accepted Christ as my savior in a Sunday school class at Harvest Christian Fellowship. As I grew, my walk with the Lord did also. I became involved in several youth ministries in my teens, all the way up through my high school career. After high school, I joined the working class and met some non-christian friends. Their lifestyle was a bigger impression on me than my lifestyle was on them. I slowly began to fall away from God's plan for my life. I isolated myself from my concerned christian family and friends and lead a life full of selfishness and disregarded everyones pleas to turn back to the Lord. I remember feeling such bitterness and hate when people said they were praying for me. I thought my life was fine and felt insulted people thought otherwise. I was in denial about my backslidden state. When I was twenty-one I got pregnant from my boyfriend. Both my daughter and I were abandoned by her "father" shortly after her birth. As anyone with children knows, children change everything! I began to reevaluate my life and where it was headed, not for my sake, but for my daughter's. Through this tough time of feeling panic, and abandonment, and just so very lost; I came back to my first love, and recommitted my life to Christ.
    My daughter is now 10 years old and I am striving to raise her up to be a Godly woman with the help of her Heavenly Father, and my awesome family. My greatest mistake has turned out to be my greatest blessing!! The birth of my daughter woke me up from my denial, and she is my motivation never to go down that road again. Looking back I can clearly see God at work as he used my choices (both good and bad) to reconcile me back to him. It amazes me on a daily basis!
    At this current time I feel my walk with the Lord is stronger than ever. Though I still meet challenges everyday, I no longer deny them, but try to face them head on, seeking the Lord's will over my own. I don't always succeed, I'm not perfect, but I have a perfect God. I can see him at work in me and my daughter. Lately I have been learning patience in God's timing and that there is an opportunity for service in everything.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."~2 Corinthians 5:17-21

If you are willing to share, I would love to hear your testimony, and how the Lord has worked in your life! Please feel free to share in the comment section below or email us @ raspberrycordialmusings@gmail.com


  1. Thank you for sharing! I shared my testimony a few years ago at church. Here it is :)

    I was born to parents who were divorced before my first birthday. My mom seemed to struggle with the role of a single parent, but God, in His goodness to me even when I was little, sent my grandparents to help raise me. My childhood held much sadness. I mention this because; as much as our childhood can shape us, it does not have to be a deciding factor for how the rest of our lives will turn out.

    Looking back, God had sent people into my life to point the way to Him, such as a kind-hearted old lady who led a neighborhood children’s Bible study. Hearing the promises of God’s Word never returns void in our lives. Also, when I was in High School, I was reunited with a girl who I knew from elementary and middle school. She was a Christian and we became best friends. Never underestimate the profound impact your actions, even the seemingly small ones, can have on others. Even as an adult, God continues to bless me by surrounding me with people who are willing to walk with me.

    In my sophomore year of high school, I began to get serious about seeking God and finding out what it meant to be a follower of Jesus. Unfortunately, my knowledge up to that point was only head knowledge. I likened myself to the plant whose roots were set in the rocky soil; they did not go deep and therefore withered easily. I had turned away, if even ever so slightly at first, but sometimes that’s all it takes to lead you astray.

    I rebelled in my own way, while somehow still keeping up the appearance of being “a good girl,” but in my heart I had turned away from God completely. I was miserable as I looked for fulfillment from things “under the sun.” I was so deceived that I couldn’t see how desperately I needed God or how the God-shaped hole in my heart could never be filled with anything else but Him. So, I continued the futile search.

    The month after graduation, I moved out on my own and became pregnant. This shocked my family. I began to make plans to prepare for a family of my own at the age of 17. I welcomed a beautiful baby boy, was married a year later but still something was missing. Something I couldn’t readily identify.

    A few years later I was watching a comedian on TV joke about hell, but I wasn’t laughing. God was trying to get my attention, and well, it worked. It was a startling realization that this was my destination if I didn’t repent and turn back to God, which I did.

    My journey back, however, was not always an easy one. God loves to redeem people’s lives from the pit, but there are consequences for our sin. I was forgiven, but the consequences of my rebellion remained and I struggled with guilt for many years. But as I continued to walk with Jesus, he enabled me to move past that and really hold on to the truth that: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” I was finally free. It didn’t matter that I was unworthy, because everyone was; it is only grace by which we are saved!

    When I was a little girl, my grandmother used to call me “Grace” because I was so clumsy, but I have a feeling that God intended that name to have a different meaning in my life. I used to wish that I didn’t have such a traumatic childhood and that I had not strayed in my adolescence, but God is showing me that it is my past, however blemished, that he is using to transform me into the woman he desires me to be; a woman that can attest wholeheartedly to the life-changing grace and salvation that he freely gives to all people who will call on him.

    And though this life brings with it both “mountain top” experiences and times spent in the darkest of valleys, one thing is certain: Jesus will never leave us or forsake us. His faithfulness is steadfast. The joy that is found when the God-shaped hole is filled is deep and abiding. His grace is sufficient for each and every one of us!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing Jade! It is so awesome to see how God works, even in the small things!